Splitting the inheritance that a beloved family member leaves behind can be very traumatic and dramatic. While families that truly care for each other will immediately honor the deceased loved one’s wishes, in other situations, the reading of the will can bring out the very worst in some people.
When there’s a house up for grabs, some relatives might show just how greedy they really are inside… and God forbid that their jealousy flares up if you end up getting what they think they deserve. One redditor shared a touching story about how she took care of her grandfather after her grandmother passed away out of the kindness of her heart while everyone else in the family was happy to ignore him.
You’ll find the full story about what happened next and the jealous family’s aggressive reaction. When you’re done reading the story, we’d like to hear what you thought of the entire situation, dear Pandas.
Bored Panda reached out to financial expert Sam Dogen, author of ‘Buy This, Not That: How to Spend Your Way to Wealth and Freedom’ and the founder of Financial Samurai, for a chat about why some people fight over inheritance, and how to keep greed and envy in check. Read on to see what he thinks.
A woman turned to the AITA community for advice on how to handle her family’s reaction to her grandfather’s wishes
Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo))
Here’s the story in full. It shows some of the best and worst of what humankind has to offer
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo))
Image credits: aIt_throwthrow
Bored Panda wanted to understand why dividing up the family inheritance brings out the worst in some people. Financial expert and author Sam told us that the people who fight over inheritance are usually entitled.
“It’s the sense of entitlement people have for other people’s money. The more entitled you feel, the worse you will act if you don’t get what you want,” he explained.
“If you’re going into a will reading expecting anything more than nothing, you’ve already got ill intentions. It’s best to expect nothing. This way, if you get anything, it’s an upside. And if you get nothing, you won’t be disappointed.”
Meanwhile, the founder of Financial Samurai showed where the line lies between healthy self-interest and all-out greed.
“Self-interest is good for your survival and your family’s survival. But once you start expecting more at the expense of another, your greed may ruin your relationships with others,” he explained where the line lies.
“To keep envy in check, always go through the things you already have and be thankful. Instead of always comparing up, compare sideways or down. Think back to the difficult times you encountered and appreciate where you are today,” Sam told Bored Panda that gratitude is the antivenom to envy.
Sam stressed that the younger generation is feeling a lot of anxiety about how they’ll be able to afford homes and provide for a family in the future. “With the Baby Boomer generation accumulating so much wealth, it seems like Millennials and Gen Z might never catch up. However, there is one silver lining to this massive generational wealth difference,” he said.
“A massive generational wealth transfer is underway! It stands to reason younger generations will inherit tremendous wealth from the oldest generations. Therefore, an optimist can believe that everything will turn out OK in the end. All that is required is patience and being good to your elders!”
The author of the post was so shaken by her interaction with her entitled brother that she reached out to the AITA community for their advice. Even though she knew she was honoring her grandfather’s wishes by keeping the house, she still wanted to get some outside perspectives about the whole messy situation.
Her brother wanted the house and was certain he’d get it when his grandfather passed away. On the flip side, the author had no sneaky intentions of getting the house and simply took care of her granddad because it was the right thing to do and because she enjoyed his company. When he eventually left the house to her, the rest of the family was furious.
It’s not surprising that the vast majority of the AITA community thought that the author wasn’t a jerk. She did nothing wrong. Quite the opposite: she showed that she’s a kind, caring, selfless person who wasn’t expecting any reward at all (aside from her grandfather’s lovely company, of course).
One redditor, u/czndra67, probably put it best when they wrote: “You took care of your grandfather out of love, expecting nothing in return. Your dad and brother gave nothing, and expected everything in return. Keep the house. Your grandfather made the right decision.” Others agreed.
Whether she knew it or not, the author of the thread was behaving in a way that brings about a lot of happiness in a person’s life. Being altruistic, helping others, and socializing without expecting a reward are all things that make us happier.
“Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed,” Sarah Vero from the team at ‘Action for Happiness’ shared with Bored Panda earlier how everyone can take a firm step towards a happier life by setting their egos aside and lending a helping hand.
Here are the 10 keys to happier living, according to Sarah: “Giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves.”
“When we do things for others it activates the reward center in the brain, so when we give a gift it feels the same as receiving a gift,” Vanessa King, the Head of Psychology at ‘Action for Happiness’ told us previously that human beings are a social species and that helping each other is what keeps and binds us together as a community.
“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today,” she said that everyone can learn to be more altruistic. Even if things might not start out genuine, eventually, the individual starts being kind with no ulterior motives.
“Maybe at first, you start out doing things to help others only to get attention and praise, but you will find that doing things for others helps you feel good and when you see people’s responses. Once you see the difference you can make in the world and to your own happiness and altruism can grow naturally,” she said, adding that kindness tends to spread. The kinder we are to others, the kinder they will be to everyone else, in turn.
An overwhelming number of people were on the granddaughter’s side. Here’s what they had to say
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