Some people who are clearly in the wrong are shocked when they tell someone “sue me”… and then they do. The law is there to help everyone get justice. And though the system might have some flaws, it still fights for the good of all. In one case, it helped a woman finally get all the alimony payments her ex-husband had owed her and her two kids.
Redditor u/ChickWithAnAttitude wrote up a long and enthralling story about how her husband ended up backing out of an agreement to make alimony payments, and how it ended up costing him far more in the long run. What started out as a very amicable separation eventually led to a lot of resentment. Grab yourselves a cup of tea or coffee, and let’s dive deep into what broken promises can lead to, Pandas. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda reached out to u/ChickWithAnAttitude and she was kind enough to answer our questions. “I think it was a shame for him to turn into a monster. If he had come to me civilly and explained he was strapped or something like that, we could have worked things out and continued the great relationship we had, but since he came in hard, the kids are suffering,” she was very candid about what happened.
Read on for the redditor’s recommendations if you ever find yourselves in a similar situation, why prenups might not be a bad idea, and why it’s absolutely vital to not make your kids choose between their parents.
A redditor shared what happened when her ex-husband backed out of the agreement they had about him paying alimony
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not an actual picture)
What started out as a very friendly separation eventually led to a lot of anger and drama
Image credits: Marisa Howenstine (not an actual picture)
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not an actual photo)
The woman had a few updates for the r/MaliciousCompliance online community
Bored Panda wanted to find out more about the redditor’s note that she’d been getting some very nasty direct messages from some users. “The nasty DMs we’re probably from men who have never been in a long-term relationship where commitment and growing old together was ever an option,” she said.
“Once I added that edit about nasty DMs, my inbox was flooded with positive responses thanking me for doing what their parents did, or because their parents did the opposite and understood how bad it could’ve been,” she said that a large number of internet users have been very supportive of her. And many related to what she went through.
One of the best things that someone going through a separation or divorce can do is to get a lawyer and put everything in writing, the author of the story told us. “If I had not seen a lawyer upon separation, I would have been screwed out of so much that I didn’t know I was entitled to,” she said. What’s more, it’s important to keep a paper trail for the sake of clarity.
“Keep records of promises, checks, any changes should be in writing, even if it’s an email or text, and document who sees the kids when. This doesn’t mean you only speak through lawyers. We had a great relationship and I still kept every record,” she said that keeping meticulous records doesn’t automatically lead to a poor relationship.
We also wanted to get u/ChickWithAnAttitude on pre-nuptial agreements. “I think if both parties agree to prenups, then it’s fine. In our case, we got married broke and struggled for many years, so there was no reason for a prenup at the time. We also made the decision to have me stay home TOGETHER, knowing I would be taken care of in retirement by him,” she said. “Unfortunately, I had rose-colored glasses on and never thought we would part.”
The redditor was very open about the fact that she would have approached things in a different way. “Looking back, I should have done things differently, but I did the best I could at the time,” she said.
According to u/ChickWithAnAttitude, parents should do everything in their power to protect their kids during separation. “Parents should not put the kids in a place where they have to side with one parent over the other. Do not use the children as pawns, and certainly never bad mouth the other parent in front of the kids,” she stressed. “You loved that person when you created that child and that child should only feel love from the parents.”
The redditor’s story got a lot of attention on r/MaliciousCompliance. It got over 20.7k upvotes, and some people even thought that it was worth giving awards over. However, not everyone was as friendly. u/ChickWithAnAttitude noted that some redditors started sending her nasty direct messages, insulting her.
Whatever the internet’s reaction might be, the mom of two eventually got the entire $120,000 sum of back-owed alimony on day 29 out of 30. That’s a huge win for her personally and for the legal system. It shows that you cannot break agreements easily and that justice will prevail.
Some couples choose to get pre-nuptial agreements before getting married. That way, things are very clear in terms of finances and property in case of divorce. It might not make separation easier emotionally, of course. And not all couples think that a prenup is necessary. Some even think that it’s an indication that the relationship won’t last.
However, dating and relationship expert Dan Bacon told Bored Panda earlier that a prenup doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a lack of trust in one’s partner. However, prenups aren’t for everyone.
“In many cases, it’s based on a lack of trust in the legal system, which usually favors women over men during a divorce. My wife signed a prenup, even though I had no reason to distrust her. We’re still happily together and in love almost 9 years to this day and have two children,” he opened up to us some time ago about his particular situation.
“I went for a prenup because I don’t think a person should ever have the power to threaten another person in a relationship with half of their assets. For example: A wife says to her husband, ‘If you don’t do this/that, I will divorce you and take half your stuff.’ So, in my opinion, a prenup is a legitimate way to help reduce the potential for that kind of manipulation in a marriage,” he shared his opinion.
“My wife was earning slightly more than me when we first met, but that didn’t change my stance on prenups. For me, a prenup is about getting rid of the potential for manipulation or threats and allowing a relationship to last on love, rather than on nasty legal ramifications,” he said.
“The prenup caused absolutely no harm between my wife and me because we are honestly committed to each other and she has no intention of trying to take advantage of me. If anything, it brought us even closer because it reconfirmed for her that she has no intention of ever leaving me,” he said.”
Here’s what people had to say after reading what happened. Some of them even shared their own separation and divorce stories
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